Pardon My Age

It’s happening – it is inescapable – I’m aging!

Well, what did I expect? For many years I felt invulnerable to the effects of aging. I still looked good in my 40s; in fact I actually looked better than I did in my 20s and 30s when my extreme thinness detracted from my appearance. I know, I know – you can never be too thin or too rich. I still subscribe to the rich part, but I was living proof that being too thin is actually not attractive. I figure my best years appearance-wise were my 40s and even my early 50s. I had finally gained enough weight to look non-skeletal. My face was still unwrinkled and attractive. “This is pretty great”, I thought. “For some odd reason, I’m not aging”.

My children were young – I was still part of the “young parents” world, or at least I thought I was. I still had kids in school, albeit college. When I went shopping or to a restaurant or theater, there were a substantial number of people around who were older than me. “I’m still part of the mainstream” I told myself. “I’m not really old.”

But something happened once I entered my 60s. My children are all well into adulthood now and yes, I’m a Grandparent. I love being a Grandmother and only wish my Grandchild & future Grandchildren could live closer to me. That’s not the problem. I have gone from being the “right weight” to being overweight. I’m not thrilled about that. I’ve done the Jenny Craig routine, lost and gained back again. My once youthful, attractive face is becoming quite wrinkled around the eyes. My lids droop now – no sense putting on any eye makeup anymore. I used to rely on that to enhance my appearance. I’m developing jowls and it’s possible that in a few more years I’m going to be a dead ringer for a Bassett Hound. My hands have age spot, lots of age spots. I never thought I’d get those. I have neither the courage nor the money to have plastic surgery, and really, what’s the use when you have to turn around in 5 years and have it again. I’ve seen the women who have had Botox injections. With their tight faces and elongated eyes many of them look like my cat Murphy.

So, I don’t look so hot anymore. But, over and above that, now when I’m in a restaurant, at a movie or at a store, I am more often than not the oldest person within my field of vision. I know those older people are out there, but they must be hiding. I’m older than my boss at work, older than my physician, for crying out loud, I’m older than the President! I’m actually excited when I see someone older than I am, even if they’re using a walker or a wheelchair.

Of course, nothing can compare with the horror of a visit to the neighborhood health club. At the gym I am one of the oldest, if not the oldest person around. The sight of all those half naked, taut bodies flaying around with their IPod and Blue Tooth is enough to make me want to install a private gym in my home. It doesn’t bother me on a practical level – I realize that aging is a consequence of living. I think about all the years I enjoyed on Planet Earth before these post Vietnam War children were even born. And yes; these young people are growing older too. My 40 year old son is not as boyish as he used to be and his dark hair is turning grey. It’s just the shock of realizing that I am well on my way to becoming, well, elderly. My proud, rebellious generation has entered its 60s and I, for one, am not totally ready to deal with that on an emotional level.

That being said, I have reached a decision. Since continued aging is a given (unless, of course, the alternative occurs), I will seek solace in the few places I can still feel young – Senior Citizen Homes, adult communities and cafes at local book shops. It’s not as crazy as it sounds. Where else can I still feel desirable and youthful? Just last week I was at a local coffee shop and an older gentleman (in his mid to late 70s) was eyeing me with admiration! If you want to look thin, hang around with overweight people. If you want to feel young, hang around with those more elderly than you (if you can find any). I’ll continue this later; it’s time for me to put on my Rockports and hit the social hot spot at the local Barnes & Noble!